Go Out and Heal

The pain cannot be ignored.  At the same time, it cannot be fed.  I’ve realized I need to be out and meet people.  I need to get in touch with humanity.

For a while, I felt I wanted to cave-in.  I’ve always felt strong and the vulnerability creeping from the pain of the previous years was really scaring the hell out of me. It's frustrating to see that many years can be failures. The idea of years going to waste and finding yourself deep in rock-bottom.

Along the way, I realized it was good to accept weakness.  Even my years in the “helping-profession” became a challenge.  It seemed more difficult to be feeling needy when you have been a “source” of strength, when you have been the “giver” and the “helper”.  It was obnoxious in the beginning of the journey. Be we have to go out and heal.

What I’m learning quite well now, is that it feels good to have someone reach out to you.  It is amazing how people, who seemed more lacking are unselfishly extending themselves to me.  The circle indeed spins.  We all have to let it be, allow ourselves to go up, and equally allow ourselves to get down.  The acceptance of life’s nature cannot be denied.  We help, we let others help us too.  Somewhere on these roads we find ourselves and we are able to re-invent ourselves continuously.